Archive for August, 2010

Mental Shape-Up

Hey Guys~

I apologize for the lack of investment lately, I could give you a string of excuses but lets just leave it at GRAD SCHOOL!

Its not all bad, in fact, most of it is very very good.  Huge learning experience, fun new people, professional development, as well as fulfilling one’s own goals.  Not that my goal has ever been grad school or a master’s degree, but I want to be….important.

There is something I wanna share with everyone.  I mostly have kept things pretty impersonal on here, and maybe that is why I don’t have a huge pull everyday to write, but anyway.  I want to share something, partially because I like feeling connected and partially to keep myself accountable. 

It says in my “about” section about kicking a pretty unhealthy relationship to the curb, and this is true…kinda.  The relationship is over and has been for quite some time, but the mental repercussions are still very much alive some days.  It was a long relationship, mostly long distance  which caused a lot of problems when we finally moved back into the same town:

  • Communication changes (and must) but being so far away you rely on tons of small texts and conversations but in the same place you spend evenings together and free time so small, constant communication must change.
  • Free-time changes  you have to suddenly juggle friends and significant other
  • Sharing friends, its hard at first.

I don’t want to make him out to be a bad guy, but in the end all we were doing was fighting, not communicating, and he was terribly negative about my appearance among other things.  Even though he was sweet, smart, funny, my first love, etc.  I knew it was time after trying to hold it together for over 2 years.  However, over these two years something changed inside of me.  I became obsessed with “making it work” and even after having let it go I still have that mentality in my personality.

Now I am in a new, very healthy relationship with many possible outcomes,  But I see the ugly head of many negative emotions he gave me and how obsessed I became with making things work.  I want so badly to please the MR that I obsess about it.  He notices as well and I’ve tried to explain it to him, but I believe he is correct in his comment that the relationship just needs to flow and it doesn’t help to worry about it.  I believe that, but there is a part of me that can’t stop. 

Today I was reading blogs and came to Faith, Fitness, Fun and Tina used an interesting approach that I really really appreciated at this time in my life.  She discussed things should would have told herself 10 years ago, one of which was “stop spending so much time worrying about relationships.  everything will work out”.  It was so helpful to know that I am not the only woman struggling with wanting to know the outcome and “make it work”.  I could do a list of things to tell myself 10 years ago, but I was 13 and honestly I don’t think there was much worry or stress in my life.  So instead I want to write you (and me) a list of thing to remember, some positive notes to keep me going:

  1. Its ok to be alone – I mean this two ways: 1) its ok to not be dating anyone, I don’t need them to make me feel important, attractive, or interesting and 2) its ok to spend time alone.  A relaxing day without other people filling your time (I’ve struggled with this most of my life, I feel left out and not as important)  It is getting better and I need to enjoy it.
  2. Just relax, the future will work out – another hard one for me, but I need to remember to enjoy the moment and everything usually comes together.
  3. Be who YOU are – I often am told I am TOO nice and I give TOO much and I’ve been broken up repeatedly for being TOO good for people.  But you know what?  I like me and I like my personality and I wanna be me and someday someone will like how nice and thoughtful and caring I am towards them.
  4. Family is always on your side – I have not had a moment in my life where my family wasn’t there for me.  They aren’t always right, they aren’t always gonna save me.  But they love me and they hug me and I will always, always do the same for them.
  5. Friends make life worthwhile – pretty simple, but we forget it.
  6. Take care of yourself – this is health wise, mental wise, how hard we push ourselves ( i struggle with cutting myself slack), quiet time, SLEEP, vacation, laughter   DO IT FOR YOU.  We all deserve it and if you aren’t looking out for you, who will?

Thanks guys.  I would love to know your thoughts.  Here’s one for putting ourselves out there.

My mama and my two brothers with me on an amazing vacation to upstate New York.


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My Little Soapbox

Hello All-

I don’t have a lot of time (sorry no food updates today, but I’m feeling much better and have been eating more normal).

Today has been a very busy day around the office.  A fellow grad student gave his defense and I attended even though the research topic wasn’t in my area.  I feel like watching more of these will be good prep for this fall when its my turn.  And…I learned some important info to pass along to ya’ll.

I am a huge advocate for healthy eating even if you are a very active person.  Point blank, you may be able to keep weight off by hard exercise and eating whatever you want but you are doing  major, MAJOR damage to your heart, arteries, and muscles. 

The topic today focused mainly on heart attacks and here is a good piece of news for any of you who still feel like eating whatever you want its ok (mostly men I’ve found)…there is a condition effect that takes place with exercise and the heart.  The more routine and intense the exercise the more the heart muscle can still survive incase of a heart attack (leading to a better recovery).

So if you are an intense exerciser who refuses to give up greasy and sugary foods, you are in luck.  If , and when (I’m betting on when), a heart attack occurs you are in a better position to survive and to recover. 🙂

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Hello Everybody~

I hope you are all well today.  I am feeling a bit strange today.  I don’t feel sick, just blahhh.  And nothing seems to be helping me out.  Hopefully getting away from my thesis long enough to write you guys is enough.

I had a great bowl of granola this morning (which was surprising loud).  The boyfriend’s sister bunked on my couch last night and as much as I love guests and having people around, my one bedroom apartment isn’t exactly great for food prep while guests are sleeping.  Nonetheless, it was wonderful.

Kashi granola, soy milk, and whatever berries were leftover

 I then biked to the office in hopes of getting the chance to bang my head against my desk repeatedly, and you know what……today must of been my lucky day because that was exactly what I got. 🙂  Just kidding, well kinda, I did have a full day of thesis writing which is very stressful and never fun, but I could feel the progress being made.

I biked home in the rain for lunch, but found that nothing I had sounded any good.  I made homemade hummas last night (recipe to come, I’m still perfecting it) and attempted to make myself a veggie wrap.  It wasn’t what I wanted and to be honest I wasn’t very hungry at all (see what I mean?  I’m just OFF today).  So I hopped back on and peddled my tush back to the office.  No food, but lots of thesis progress and a pretty good bike ride.

I have no idea what is in store for dinner, I’m feeling sautéed salmon with veggies?!?!?! Sounds about right, but who knows with the way I’ve been feeling lately.  Unfortunately I can’t eat until after my city league soccer game.  WOO HOO!!! Basically an excuse for all of us who used to kick ass at soccer to goof off and laugh.

My friend Amanda took this last year, she's so talented.

I’m glad we signed up for this league.  I am having a hard time finding exercise room in my schedule with my thesis deadlines and grad school teaching starts in a week and a half  YIKES!!!  It will be nice to have this hour set aside for a workout, I’m hoping by october to be back into my routine.

PS – I have pictures to share with ya’ll, but…..my camera program isn’t working properly so stay tooned.  Hing:  best concerts EVER and  yes, I bought the boots 🙂

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